What, in the face of eternity, is truly of any importance while we exist for the fraction of a second in cosmic time?
What should our lives revolve around, invested in and loved for during the period of time we’re being granted to exist?
It’s obvious that we, especially here in the west, somehow got it all wrong, Somewhere along the way we seem to have forgotten something essential.
We rush around, we achieve, we accumulate, we “make bank” and yet… how many genuinely happy people have you seen today? I’m sure you can count them on one hand, maybe even on one finger and if that’s the case, I hope that that finger is at least counting you in.
This way of life is making us miserable, leaving us as exhausted shadows of our true potential.
And I say “f*ck it!” – It’s all a fucking facade and excuse my language but I’m mad, terribly mad at the fact that we’ve been led astray so much that we believe that this is what life is about, it’s NOT!
I said it in one of my poems and I will repeat it here again:
“We seek life in matter, not in what matters.”
We live lives rich in stuff, yet lacking in substance and as a whole, we’ve been engulfed in an epidemic of internal emptiness that slowly eats us away. Rates for anxiety and depression and other problems in mental health are going through the roof. Why? Of course, people go through periods in their lives where they experience such things and that’s a healthy human response, but people don’t go through stuff all the time and yet people still feel f*cked up. That’s because of the environment we live in too. It plays a vital role in our internal state.
Sometimes I get the impression that being depressed and anxious, not because of something that happened in your life, but because of the world around you is actually a sign that you are perfectly fine. At least you’re not yet so disconnected from your emotions and feelings that you can’t feel anything at all. It’s not a sign that there is something wrong with you, it’s a sign that you’re sensitive and understanding enough to see what’s wrong with the world. Doing that requires reflection, empathy, and understanding – qualities that exist within every sane human being.
I know how it feels to be filled with absolute and utter despair and hopelessness, to feel like a ghost in the world, not because you don’t generally enjoy life, but because you feel so alien in such a world that you struggle to cope with it at all.
I remember vividly how I felt after coming back from my travels. I felt like an alien that was sent to earth to study the self-destructive tendencies of a species led astray. I lost count of how many times I laid awake in the night with thoughts running through my mind, which would’ve led me down a dark path if I would’ve followed through with them.
It feels brutal to reach this place and when we do, it will destroy a part of us. The part of us that is busy not seeing the world at present how it really is. Your illusions that you so dearly clung to will be taken from you and you will stand “naked” in front of the world with no more soothing illusions to hold on to and you will see how our world is really run at present.
It’s a sobering moment, a lonely moment, a life-changing moment, because it is this moment where we are presented with a choice. Are we going to give in and give up in the face of all that is revealed to us, or are we going to grow from these revelations and move our lives into a direction that might change things for the better?
Hell yeah, the world can be a pretty tough place, but we aren’t here to focus on the problems that past generations have created, we are here to invent and create the solutions of the future.
This place can be the doorway to hell, or it can be the Garden of Eden and the only thing that is going to decide that are the choices we make, nothing else.
I first started writing as a form of therapy, to sort myself out and face stuff I tried to suppress and hide away from, but being alone on my own, living in my car for a while, I had to face myself and it were my two good friends called “pen” and “paper” that helped me through it. I took what I feared, what I suppressed and gave those things form, making them more accessible and tangible and in doing so, it was so much more easy for me to let them go and move on.
Now it is more than that, although I don’t find as much time to write as I would like. Nevertheless is it what I love, what keeps me alive when days come along where I see pitch black.
Lately, it’s not only writing but drawing and painting as well that preoccupy me. The written word is no longer enough for me, I needed more channels to express my creative impulse through and I hope that one day I may manage to bring them both together as a form of creative alchemy and if I do, I sincerely hope that what I may produce will be of use in some way to anyone coming in touch with it.
So what is it that matters in the end?
To not give in to fear, even when it seems to be a giant monster we can’t fight. Do not let it stop you from shining brightly, the world needs it more than ever and I am glad that I did not give in, that I find ever more reasons to continue.
Forgiving. Forgiving and accepting the blindness that was cast on you. A blindness that doesn’t steal your sight, but your ability to see clearly, that led you astray.
The three big C’s:
Whatever your thing might be, photography, music, videos, drawing, writing – ANYTHING. If it excites you, if you get a tingly feeling inside of you doing it, for the love of God, do it as much and as often as you can manage. Beautify the world around you, add color to it, even if it’s just your room. But never stop creating, never cease to use the world as your canvas.
Assistance. Assist others in their journey by sharing your journey with them. We all have stories to share, wisdom worth to be shared and experiences that are of value to others, things they can learn from. But not only sharing our lives with one another but even the small, insignificant-seeming deeds and acts of kindness we are able to perform every day go a long way in the end. Don’t ever waste an opportunity where you’re able to help someone, because in the end, it’s all about helping each other breathe a little easier, lightening up their shoulders.
Fun. Seriously, have fun along the way. I know, no life comes without a degree of suffering, some more, some with less, but don’t let it happen to you that you grow hard, bitter and cynical. Don’t let this poison corrupt you. Life is short, fleeting and yet, infinitely precious. So accept suffering as part of it and find reasons to rejoice in your existence nevertheless, because these reasons exist and they make the suffering more bearable. The world is just a ride, just a seemingly more solid appearing dream and we can turn it into anything our minds and hearts can dream up.
Live it up. Light it up and have a good laugh. Allow life to happen.