If you are reading my blog, whether that may be casually or you are following me, chances are you might want to know why this blog exists and what inspires me to write and why I named my blog “RebelPoetry”.
I got some good news for you as you are about to find out all the “why’s” that need to be addressed.
I have lived as little as 23 years and everything in my life, as it is with all lives lived, has been and always will be subject to change and yet, I notice something about my life which only started making sense recently, that is when you look back and connect the dots, when you pick up the breadcrumbs laid out by destiny itself that this red thread that secretly runs through your life is revealed. This has been the case for me with writing. It has been with me since I was able to write, sometimes more, sometimes less, always depending on what’s been happening in my life. It is the red thread that is woven into the fabric of my life.
So why then do I write and how did it become such a deep passion and form of expression for me?
I took off to travel around at the other side of the world two years ago. This time started off with the greatest hardships I faced ever, not only did I faced a lot of challenges adapting to the new environment I found myself in, but also the inner challenges that I faced, the things that I knew had to be faced and healed, the things that quietly drained me of my energy. I was on my own, living in a car by myself and had a lot of free time in which all the baggage and rubbish that I accumulated over time came to the surface and it wasn’t a nice thing to experience.
The panic attacks that ripped me out of my sleep, leaving me shaking and sweating, the silence all around that made the experience seem even more intense, the absence of hunger, the constant feeling of tension and anxiety in the background 24/7, the feeling of being in a dream as if I am being confronted with the seeming unreality of the world around me and the feelings of uncertainty that came along with them. It sucked, plain and simple.
The thought of flying back home crossed my mind more than a few times and for some strange reason I just kept going and on this one fateful day I walked into a bookshop and grabbed a notebook.
I needed a way to express what has been going on inside of me for way too long, but as I had no one to share that with, this notebook was my best friend. It was my medium for healing, for transformation, for sanity, as that was something I feared for most of the time, my sanity.
I tried to make sense of the crazy shit that has been going on and having it tangible in form of words was the best way that I could find to make sense of the tornado that went on inside my head. Then, after a long time, I met a bunch of people that could relate to my experience, that helped me made sense of them and I didn’t feel alone with them anymore and what started what I thought was a curse, became the greatest source of strength for me, because after all, I survived all that, I peeled the layers that kept me from shining.
Looking back it were these months that I cursed back then, that turned into the greatest source of growth for me and a big part that ensured I’d make it through them were the people around me, who are some of the most amazing and inspiring bunch of humans that I ever came across and I am filled with gratitude knowing that I have some good people spread around the world that I can relate to in a deeper way.
Writing, as you would easily know now, started off as a tool to cope with my own stuff and over the course of time, turned into a tool of inspiration and creative expression and I strongly believe today, that the hardships I endured matured me in such a way, that the quality of my writing skills developed as a consequence. A real blessing in disguise I would say.
Of to the next “why”. Why did I give my blog the name “RebelPoetry”?
Well, this picks up on the story of me traveling the world for a while, as I didn’t only face my own shadows to a large extent, but those present in the world as well. I’m talking about the onslaught against nature, the madness of politics at present, the cruelty against animals and against other humans caused by humans, our quiet desperation that we suffer as we hunger for the creative life in a world that wants us to be a wheel in the machine, the whole thing.
Long story short, I’m not okay with it, I’m not accepting this as being the only way because this way leads to nowhere, it’s a dead end and I think we all know this. I don’t believe in fighting those who engage in the destruction of our world or to protest, those things lead to nowhere. If we make our voices heard, we are being silenced, if we fight those in power they will answer with more violence against us. It just keeps the cycle going, a cycle that has repeated itself for centuries past.
As I traveled, I didn’t only face my own shadows, but I also came in touch with a dimension, a deeper reality than the one that is normally all we ever know, which left me speechless when it happened, because all I felt was peace, joy and an immense feeling of connection towards the world and its people and I somehow felt that this discovery and reconnection with this reality is the foundation for a true solution.
That’s why I don’t believe in a revolution, I believe in a quiet rebellion, a rebellion that doesn’t happen “out there”, but within us. What should we rebel against you may ask? Against our obsessed consumer-based culture that declared materialism its one and only religion, drowning us in stuff and in turn leaving us without substance, without depth. Against this emptiness that lurks around in us, that seems to have replaced the joy and zest for life we had in younger years. Against our indifference and apathy that we have for the world, especially for nature, but for other humans and animals just as much.
And all those things listed above, disappear when we drink from this inner well that never runs dry. It helps us to recognize that wonder in front of us and shows us the proper way to live here, it shows us a spark of ourselves in all the faces we meet, no matter if its human or animal and it drowns this constant need for more and more. It heals us and gives us a taste of true happiness and fulfillment.
Joyful people don’t trash the world they live in, they don’t go and fight a rich man’s war, they don’t feel superior to other forms of life that they are actually responsible to care for.
That’s why I named my blog “RebelPoetry” because my writings are a form of rebellion against those things and an invitation to rest a little and rediscover that which has never truly been lost. This poetic dimension that I spoke about earlier, which revealed itself to me in an instant where I least expected something like that to happen, is a richness that hides within every human being, with no exception and the whole reason for this blog to exist is to infuse my writings with this dimension as good as I can, so that they function as an invitation for the reader to rest, to rediscover and realign with that, which has never been lost, just hidden underneath the rusted shell of our hurts, traumas, and fears.
I believe that everyone can wake up the sleeping giant that rests deep within them, to break the chains imposed on us and to stand in our birthright of freedom and I am convinced that the impact we make on the world is not made by the words spoken, but by the deeds done and decisions made as they make up our lives and the impact we have on the world.
Make yourself feel at home and find your inner rebel, he is there and he is waiting patiently to be discovered, I promise.