Looking for the right thing in all the wrong places

Human beings are hardwired to search happiness, fulfillment and wholeness, that’s just part of our biological makeup and there is nothing wrong with pursuing those things, but lately I sense that this very pursuit has become completely unbalanced and distorted.

Man’s search for fulfillment

In our fast-pased world, we’re always on the run, keeping our consumer mentality high and our soul’s contentment at the lowest. People are buying their way to happiness, to that state of wholeness we secretly all long for. Or maybe this new job will do it? Tired of your partner because he or she might not be as perfect as you saw him or her? No problem, just swipe to the right and off to the next dead-end relationship that will end in the same rut. On our search for happiness we not only wreck the world, we wreck one another. This path to happiness doesn’t make anyone happy, does it?

By all means, I’m not saying that having a cool exciting job is bad or engaging with other human beings in an intimate manner is something to be avoided. Hell no, the world and it’s people are way to incredible and amazing to be disregarded. I myself tried to turn my back on the world, but that doesn’t really work out. Running away has never and will never be the answer and it is, in its essence an act of cowardly nature. You can try to turn your back on the world, but it will appear right in front of you again, with all its chaos, beauty and opportunities. What we then make of ourselves and our amazing world is up to us.

An act of balance

The most vital, yet sobering, fact that we have to accept and embrace in order to truly find this wholeness we seek, is to stop looking for it in “things”. The ideal partner that will deliver happiness doesn’t exist, the perfect job that is just awesome isn’t out there and spending all your money on goodie after goodie won’t do it either, at best it will deliver a short dopamine rush that fades as quick as it comes.

Does that mean that we shouldn’t enjoy interesting work, our partners, friends, family and the cool stuff we can buy? As I said earlier that is not what I mean. The crucial difference we have to make is between enjoying and indulging and for the most part I feel we indulge in all these things, completely losing ourselves in the world and other people.

But I stopped judging what people do, as I’ve been there myself. It’s important to have a bit of distance between what people do and what we think they should do. I often felt the urge to correct people, to show them what is the right way, but the more I tried, the less I’ve found a willing ear to listen and so I learned that we can’t correct the way people live, that is not in our power, what is in our power, is to correct our own ways and that’s the most important thing to consider.

People only grow through own experience, through own hardships and just as a snake peels its skin at the right time, the right time for people to peel off their conditioning and belief-systems they inherited by their culture and society will happen at the right time. All we can do in the meantime is to live by example, for that is the best statement and act of service we can deliver to those embarking on their journey of discovery.

What children can teach us – wisdom of the youth

Our inherent wholeness and happiness we experience as children are being systematically rewritten by a programm called “MORE” and “NOT ENOUGH”. So in that regard we all sit in the same boat, what is crucial is that we get of this boat before it sinks and help each other to swim on our own.

Children are naturally happy and whole, given the right cirumstances. It isn’t just children who are like that, we adults are the same in our essence and we feel this when we see a baby or a small child. Looking at them we seem to remember a part of ourselves that we long thought to be lost, as if a fire once extinguished is reigniting its flames.

They teach us that what we seek is already here. Here and now. The secret is, that children are still in touch with their essence, that which lives only in the present moment. They have no time for past and future and the tension and anxieties that come with living in those imaginary worlds. Children are filled with creativity, with curiosity, with joy, with love – all the things that we truly long for but look for in the completely wrong places. As we grow older we are only made to believe that we need, do and be this and that to finally arrive at our destination of wholeness. But we don’t arrive there by having more and becoming more, but by being here, not by searching outside of us, but by finding within ourselves the treasures we were taught are promised to be found in the world.

It would all do us good, to reconnect to this part and to give it the space in our lives it deserves, to be more like children, not childish, but childlike.

And didn’t a man once said:”Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.“?


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